All week long leading up to the race I tried to find ways to get out of running 50 miles in one day. I tried to get my wife to let me lower the amount of for the race, I tried to say its ok I don’t need to run it this time. It was my wife’s final words that rang in my head for the most of the rest of the week and for the portion of the race when I started to feel down and in pain, “Don’t be a Pussy.” It was the most endearing thing she could have said to me and it was exactly what I needed.
The Dirty German Endurance festival took place on the 11th of May in a tucked away trail near Philly called Penny Pack Park. The trail throughout the park is the home of one of their other races, but we weren’t there for the trail, we were there for the off road challenge. Each loop is 15.5 miles through rivers, over trees, and up and down hills throughout the park. The 50 mile runners had an extra 1.3 mile loop each round to bring out total up to 50 miles. I knew the course and where the aid stations would be, I love this course. The festival coordinators put on an amazing event. Their aid stations are the best I have ever been to. Housing over 700 runners, the volunteers feed and quench us with drinks. Lots of bacon and lots of potatoes. After being on the trail for most of the day, I needed everything they had to offer.
It's a crazy thing to do, running an ultra-race. SO much goes into the day off you seem to forget you are even in motion. Leading up to the race you’ve placed your things on the side of your bed, or in a bad getting it ready to go. You’ve put in the time and miles it takes to ensure you are not dying on your feet on race day. You’ve trained your mind too, making sure you have something to keep your head from being the biggest threat to your run. Everything is perfectly in place. You wake up the morning of the race and like magic, it’s all out the window. You’ve slept like shit, you can’t find the second pair of socks, your oatmeal burned, and because of all of this…because of all this, your anxiety is at its all-time high and you are really losing your shit. This is how my day started, I wanted everything in its place. I wanted my mind to be right. The morning of is the real test of your mental well-being. Nothing else matters to you when this happens, nothing besides getting to that start line, everything will solve itself out at the start line. 3-2-1 bang, you are off. Where is my drink, did I pack everything I needed, I have to poop. NOTHING IS ALRIGHT. But soon, surely, like a morning dove, you find your pace, “hey this feels nice,” you find your path that you love to run, “hey I remember you,” and you’ve found all your gu’s and water in the right spot. I want you to remember this phrase, it will all work itself out, for the good or the bad, and it will always work itself out.
This time around on the course I was determined to talk to people. I found on one of my runs that talking to other people that have the same type of mind as you, really helps the time pass. I met a older fellow on my first loop. Call him Brian. Brian and I ran for about 6 miles just talking about sports, family, whatever the topic. It really was a nice 6 miles. I slowed my pace on purpose to ensure I had energy for the remainder of the race, I also did it to keep a human in my space to talk to. After the first loop I told Brian I would go back out when he was ready, just to come and grab me and we can go. I don’t like waiting. Three minutes turned into 5, which turned into 7. I couldn’t wait any longer, I looked for him and took off. I was actually upset, where was my buddy!!
The entire next 15 miles I ran at my normal pace, 8 minutes and change. I felt fantastic when I got finished. 50k done, I had just run the entire thing. Everything from pacing, to food, to drinking fluids, I even had a nice run with stopping at the aid stations for a chat and food. Some aid stations I even ate more than I needed to, just to make sure I wouldn’t bonk. My wife was there, I told her and I quote “this is so dumb, who would do this to themselves, fuck this.” She and her mother were laughing so loud at me. I was more excited they were there, I didn’t really mean any of what I said. I loved them for coming, the support really was needed. My mother in law pulled out a soda, passed it to me, I drank a giant gulp, filled my vest and went back out for my final loop excited, refreshed, and ready to finish something I never through I could do.
The last loop went basically without a hitch. As the miles ticked off I was giddy. I ate so much food and I loved it. Peanut butter and bacon sandwiches, a whole one too. The last aid station was 3 miles to the end, I stuffed my vest with Gatorade, cookies, and candy. I didn’t really fly to the end, but I made it and I made it within the time limit I wanted to make it in. I ran with my middle child for the last meters and literally cried the entire time. I finished something I knew I could do, but didn’t dream I actually would.
My wife handed me my favorite beer, told me I deserved it, I put my head down and cried again. My children were asking me questions about how I feel and why am I sad. I sat down, ate my German Sauerkraut and hotdog and told them my adventure. We walked to the river where I totally submerged my legs and I laid back looking at the course. People were just starting their third loop, I felt for them and yet, I wanted to go with them. It’s a crazy feeling.
The Dirty German will always hold a special place in my heart. I will be running it again this year. Running 50 miles might seem daunting to you, but find a course you love, run it, get to know the race directors. I am currently training for a 100 mile race, am I excited? Yes. Am I nervous? Yes. The Dirty German this year will be a B type race, the 50 miler will be a fun run!
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